Funny guy

My friends were telling me about this funny ang mo guy they met on the tram the other day

He started by asking them where were they from

They said Malaysia.

Then he asked the STUPIDEST question.

Oh, do they still live on trees?

!!!!!!

and he was NOT joking.

he was asking it as a serious question.

=.=

 

when have we ever lived on trees?

few hundred years ago?

to be fair, the orang aslis DO live on trees (maybe not as many now)

but….

hello….

in the CITY????

instead of flats and condos, we have super high trees. each branches live one family.

we’re all really near each other

if i look up, i’ll be able to see a guy’s underwear since he’s probably not wearing pants. he’s probably wearing a sarong.

oh wait. maybe just leaves. ok. that sounded really wrong.

since i live in pj and study in klang, everyday i swing from tree to tree to my uni.

i’ll be like

‘hi, sorry to have to swing by your branch/house everyday’

or halfway swinging, stop by someone’s house/branch and eat.

my arms are longer than my legs. like chimpanzees.

since, you know, evolution. those with longer arms survive better. so over the years…. ancestors with longer arms survived.

when i was coming to australia, since its so far away, i….*gasp*!

*in disgust*

swam here.

ohmigosh! i actually touched the lowlands!

*snorts*

and whenever i go to melbourne, my starting point is the adelaide botanical garden.

while my newly met friends here who actually *gasp*! live on land and *disgust* drive, i swing from tree to tree til i meet melbourne and meet them there.

 

=.=

 

after that, the whole trip he kept saying you should buy a trolley. A TROLLEY! (yeah. he made a loud heavy emphasis on that). if not when you go marketing, you’ll injure your arm muscles or your back. go buy a trolley. A TROLLEY, you know? like a pulling thing. Buy one from rundle. its cheap. only 100+

the whole time he was saying that, he kept shaking his head.

 

=.=

 

but, not all angmohs are ‘funny’ like that la.

At the Well

The SS2 video submission for MyGotTalents for youth service

MyGotTalents is a talent show they’re having at my church youth service.

Talents could be ANYTHING

some did hairstyling, cool chalk-art (word clarified by christine  ) with hidden messages on the background which can be seen only under uv lights, 50’s rock an roll dance, basketball skills, musical instruments (violin, cello), ballet (to come) and many MANY others. come join!!!

why????

cos of the prizes they’re giving out!!!

every month, the winner of that month gets a samsung mp3 player worth 300+

the GRAND PRIZE WInner that the finallists of each month gets to compete in gets an 80GIG IPOD!!! nano or what i dont know.

and…..

the zone with the most participants gets a sponsored BBQ!!!! for the WHOLE ZONE!!! tht’s like 50+ depending on the one size. and hey, bbq not those cheap cheap sausages only kind, okay… we’re VERY generous ok.

 

ANYWAYS, here’s SS2 submission.

The story’s about Isaac and Rebekah. Abraham, (Isaac’s father) told a servant to find a bride for his son Isaac. He doesnt want one from where they’re living in because they’re not his people. he wants one from his own ‘bangsa’.

so the servant had to travel far and wide back to abraham’s original country. he was so tired and he didnt know how to try and find a wife so he pray to God. the woman who offered to give him water and water his 40 (FORTY) camels would be the bride. a camel normally drinks 30-50 gallons of water at any one time. do the math.

so along came rebecca and she did just that. and she was chosen to be isaac’s bride.

 

anyway, the basis of the story is that when we serve wherever we are (for rebecca, it was at the well since that was where women at that time spent most of their time at each day), God is sure to bless us. and when we do things, do it wholeheartedly.

anyway, go catch-up on pastor’s message at oasisofcare.org if you wanna know more about it.

 

just to clarify a few things:

the leg seen kicking the girl (hui e) is actually supposed to be a camel’s leg. dont know how to put that in the video. and in the last part, the servant is looking at both isaac and rebekah lazing by the poolside while he works.

 

 

hoho hui e

bet you were SUPERLY MEGALY surprised to see how well it turned out. hehe. who ask you doubt me in the first place.

Mr Sheffield Mr Sheffield

oh how easy it is to manipulate you.

been watching the nanny lately and oh-mi-gosh!

you really should see how she manipulate him!

Alright, what do you have in mind?

You’re going to talk him back into the show.

oh, but Mr sheffield *whines*

No BUTs ms fine. you are going to MARCH yourself upstairs, put on something smashing, take him to the best restaurant in town and order the most expensive thing on the menu

well, allllll rigghhhttt. but i’m NOT taking the limo

Oh yes, you ARE!

Slave DRIVER! *walks off fuming*

*comes back* but there is NO WAY you’re going to BUY me a NEW DRESS!

Mr sheffield: about to reply when….. o.o x.o he realizes he’s been had.

GET OUT!!!! 

 

When Fran wanted to leave early on thursday for a date

OH, Mr Sheffield, I got get off early on thursday. i got a date. which means i gotta gel, mousse, pluck, blend, oi, i tell you, i’ll be so happy when the NATURAL look is out.

See here CC, this is how you negotiate. watch and learn.

*clears throat* alright ms fine. i’ll let you out early on thursday if you stay late on sunday.

wellllll….. i cant stay late on sunday but i can START late on sunday, and work my regular hours, monday tuesday and wednesday, since you gave me my thursday OFF.

N-No, i didnt give you thursday off. i just said you can leave EARLY

OH, alright. i’ll leave early on thursday, but i still get sunday OFF

No, you’re coming in late.

oh, alrigghht already…..

*mr sheffield turns to CC* see. THIS is how you do it. *walks off proudly*

Uncle Steven

Had a funny talk by the STA travel agent company yesterday.

Haha. I tell you… the way he talked… with his chinapek english and his jokes…..

wish he talked longer.

When he first on his computer, guess who was his display picture?

lol. His girlfriend!

haha. Very pretty one. but…… look much more younger than him….

so Uncle Steven talked to us Stuuuuu-dents about travelling to Aussie.

Cant imitate the way he said it, but I’ll try writing it down. More fun if you heard it yourself.

 

You want to cancel the booking can. No kues-tion asked. Aiya, we not going ask, ” why not going? Fail is it?”

 

On prohibited items,

Cannot bring fingernail clipper onboard also. They scared you threaten want to hi-jack the plane.

*pretend hold someone by the neck*

Fly me to where I want or I’ll CLIP your fingernails for you!

 

If you exceed your luggage weight by 1kg, fine- Rm90.

If you see your bag exceed, just keep quiet. Buat, tak tau.

Some people ar, see exceed 3kg.

oh. My bag exceed 3kg already. How much have to pay ar? *whips out wallet*

 

When the customs check you over there, sometimes they ask you nonsense questions just to see how well you converse in english. like, how’s the weather today, got sleep or not, your clothes brand, size,. When they ask you questions, just answer directly. Dont talk 3 talk 4

First time I went there, the quy ask me one question, i talk long long, ask me another one, i talk another long story. though he being friendly ma. then later on…… bodycheck. 

 

After you check-in at KLIA, go to level 4 immigration for (something something). Lvl 5 departure but have to go down clear some immigration stuff first. some people, huu-huu hoo-hoo at level 5, say goodbye to daddy mummy, and girlfriend.

2 days dont see girlfriend already cry blood.

 now 1 year dont see girlfriend, sure die one.

 

Insurance, everything got coverage one. You go there, then you break this break that, sure they sue you one. everything also they sue. so if you kena sued, then just call us,

hey, insurance, i need a lawyer. got a case for you.

even if lose nevermind one. have up to 10,000 can pay

 

when ask for seats, ask for window seats. better. when look out, see got superman2 return or not

 

When need bring in medicine, need ENGLISH doctor’s prescription letter. Dont bring wong fei hung punya letter

hoho. insurance pay for medical transportation also. not cheap you know. last time, got this student dont want get insurance. he went skiing at mt buller (melb), then got accident. broke leg. then all around snow ma, so cant drive motorbike pick him up, so use helicopter lor. after come back hospital, leg no pain, heart feel pain. thought so nice got helicopter pick-up. yala. the whole helicopter yours ma that time. you PAYING for it ma…..

some people, 30kg not enough, some up to 50kg!!!! once got someone like that, so i curious lor, want go see whats inside. open up….. got BERAS inside. packs of A4 papers also

at KLIA, if you smoke, buy your ciggarettes from here. there you buy if FIVE times more, you know. so see you smoke, see if you have 20friends going then ask them help you tumpang.

got this company, can come your house pick up luggage then go to the doorstep of the place you’re sending too. so if you’re coming back and overweight, then can use them. no need pay when they come pick up from you. no need pay when they send back to your house here……. your parents pay ma….. 

 

 

the whole time, EVERY slide had a mr bean picture on it.

I want the Mr bean luggage bag T.T

the Small Hill

Let me tell you a story about the Small Hill

First, let me describe him to you. He’s…. superly megaly gi-normously smart, talks ALOT of crap, ALWAYS on the look-out of ‘Ang moh’ and Rain, have a BIG appetite, but…………. he’s QUITE  SKINNY.

so of course, you’d never have THOUGHT he’d have strength to break/crack/force(to) open the lift door now would you?

NEVER in my ENTIRE LIFE would I have thought he’d have been CAPABLE of it. so………………………………………

 

It was a bright sunny day, no Rain in sight (to the disappointment of a certain someone).

It was time to go home.

Small Hill, your darling girl, and S walked to the lift to go down.

On the way down to our floor, the lift door opened to another floor which we did not want to go to.

So your darling pressed the close button, when Small Hill started acting out what would happen IF the Ang moh was there and wanted to enter the lift

Noooo!!!! HOld on, HOld on, I’ll OPEN The lift door for you~~~~~, he shouted to the imaginary Ang moh

and then…. with strength you’d never guess he had……………………………………………………………………

he actually…………………………………………………..

FORCED THE LIFT DOOR to OPEN AFTER it had CLOSED!!!!!

The lift shook and moved up and down and stopped.

We stared at each other in shock….

in… dismay

in….

in….. FEAR……….

we tried pressing buttons on the lift. open. 2.1.G.Lg…. None of it WORKED!!!!

oh-mi-gosh! your darling here was remembering a scene of a german show she watched before…… there was some kind of fire in this tower (like KL tower), the fire affected the lift and…… the lift slammed down all the way from the top to the bottom…….. killing all its occupants……

I was like….. SHIT MAN. Lord, please please PLEASE help us T.T

(okle. was being a bit dramatic then, but its my FIRST time being trapped in a lift….)

Please, PLEASE. Even if the lift is jammed, let it get stuck here. please dont let it plummet down… still want to leave you know….

Still staring at each other, we werent sure what we’re supposed to do…

Scream? Laugh? Cry? Shout?Just keep quiet?

……………………………………………………..

Then……..

Small Hill took over

(of course le….. HE was the one who jammed it in the first place…. -.-)

With strength we never would’ve though he possessed……. slowly….. slowly……..

he forced the doors to open.

No wonder it didnt work…..

the lift was on the way down when he forced it to open so the bottom of the lift was lower than the floor…..

when we came out…. we were praying the lift wouldnt drop decide to drop down while we’re coming out….

came out, pressed the lift button again, and was hoping for the other lift to come by, when…

T.T         T.T        T.T

the same lift opened again

T.T           T.T         T.T

but… at least it was at the same level as the level we’re on…

so…………………………

by FAITH we used the same lift again.

but this time…..

make sure Small Hill’s not standing near it…..

XD

 

Copied this from Hui E and her sticky mans (btw, can someone send me the omg omg sticky man frm msn to my gmail please? >< thanks! )

 

 

 

Stuck in the lift

Forcing the doors to open

 

Small hill begging our forgiveness

 

 

 

 

btw…. hui e….. T.T

these are not easy to make…T.T

took me 1 hour plus to do it….T.T

Funniest things people say

From my Aussie lecturer while briefing us about Adelaide:

Safety:

Safety? Adelaide’s quite a safe place…..

My house’ve only been broken into THREE times.

Cycling:

I’m not trying to show off but I’ve  cycled from *points on map* here, to here to here to there to here to here up here there and back again…… I see you’re suitably impressed!

Beaches

There’s a very nice beach right along this road *points to map*

Very nice place to relax and have a swim.

You’ll have great fun there.

…..

…..

…..

…..

Btw, that beach has sharks

 

 

From the US Mart president regarding Freedom week:

This week we’ve been having lots of activity to celebrate the US independence day.

On monday evening, we had a movie screening. Turnout was quite good….

SEVEN students came *proudly*

(he was quite proud of that fact. )

then on tuesday we had….weds…..

thurday we had another movie screening and turnout was much better.

EIGHT students came. *proudly*

 

haha. the funniest thing was the way he said it. He didnt say it in a sarcastic way but in a very proud kind of way. XD

Chasers- part 1

Watch these videoclips!

These guys even got sued by their own goverment…. -.-

Watch with the audio loud ya

Great Wall of China is actually in AUSTRALIA????

lol

Dont know why they love insulting Americans.

But this is SUPER funnY!

 

Aiyo, all the tricks exposed already….

Chasers- part 2

Apec security checks

supppeeer funnnneeeeeeee!!!!

especially the toilet part XP

if video does not show above, click

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GclCE0cLA-o

Random Pictures

Just some random pics

Pads…..

For …

MEN!!!

erm… no comment….

 

My FIRST EVER MC!!!

Got that 2 weeks ago

So proud

Nix, How could YOU!!!!

Nix!!!

How could you leave me ALL ALONE at Mcds!!!!

Prologue:

It started out like any other ordinary days

After the ADP Independence day concert thingy, Nix and I was on the way home from college. Stuck in the traffic jam, I looked out and saw an estima (um… its a car….)

EH!!!!

Wouldnt it be the wackiest if my parents and Loisy (they were on the way home from singapore) were in that estima and like, I’d say,

‘Bye Nix, thanks for the ride’

and walked over to their car in the middle of the traffic jam (in the highway)

But….

aiyo, who would actually do that….

But then!!!!

No, it wasnt my parents’ car.

But it was a nice thought though

Then…………..

hehe. since we’re super near the subang toll and there’s a bridge there, what if i called my parents and ask them to pick me up from under the bridge???

So, I dialed their number

‘Yo, mummy-o. What’s up marmeekins. How you hanging these days? Cool? Ok, here’s the deal-eo. I’m on the highway near the subang toll. where you at, homie?’

“yo, darling. No shit!!! we’re on the highway too! Where’r bouts are you near? ‘

” near the subang toll. nearing the bridge. how bout my friend just drop me off at the bridge and i wait for you guys there along with the other motorbiker man waiting there?’

‘that’s cool with me. just ask your friend drop you off there. when we pass by the bridge we’ll pick you up. we just passed the KLIA bridge turning so we’ll probably be there in about 10 mins’

‘ok. coolness. i’ll meet you there. see ya laters sista’

nix:what??? are you serious??? you want me to drop you off at the bridge ON THE HIGHWAY????? nole. kenot kenot. no no.

ok ok

*call back mom*

‘yo homie, me sister from the same hood said no.’

‘why?’

‘dunno. let me ask her.’ turns to nix.

‘why cannot?’

‘cannot le! where got people drop off on the highway one. i drop you off at mcd le.’

‘okok. yo mommy. she said she’ll drop me off at the mcds after the subang toll. the one with two petrol stations side by side’

‘ok. i’ll tell your daddy-o stop there. see ya laters!’

‘ciao man.  ok nix. drop me off there’

then………. nix seriously dropped me off there. -.-

i was like…………… 0.0

nooooo

nix i was only joking! why’re you dropping me off there!!! no no. take me with yoouuuu——

she left. -.-

 

soooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i decided to dedicate this post to you, nix. just to express my feelings out…. :S

 

So this is what I ordered at Mcds

What, Nix!!! You’re really dropping me off here? I was just joking you know… you are too, right???

Oh, come on… you’re joking! Let me give you that winning smile of mine. I’m sure you’ll change your mind

no?

What?? You’re not joking???!!!???? *get angry* (try different tactic this time. the angry tactic)

You leave me here, i’m not going to share with you the durian cake and orange chocolate cake i ordered……

 

 

please? (change to begging tecnique)

oh come, on! i’m even doing that stupid weird face T.T

 

okla! go la! see if i care! hmph!

sigh…. she left…… hmph!!!! *&(*&%^U*(&

see if i pass you the durian and chocolate cake on sunday.

HMPH!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

haha. no le. Nix’s not a meanie.

she didnt want to leave me there in the first place but i made her  do  it

so….. okle Nix. i’ll send the cakes over

(haha. if she knows i did this…. she’ll probably whack my butt….      -.- )

 

Credits go to noelles for her post.

she did it in a more funnier way that only miss kan can. go check it out!!!

XD

 

 

See ya laterrrssss   Aligatorrs