Let Go and Let God

i think i heard that from rlc.

was really really depressed yesterday….
T.T
finished my exam and… i seem to misinterpret and answer the questions wrongly….
T.T
i have no idea why my thought processes were all out of sync yesterday. i seem to be answering a different answer from what the question asked…. T.T
I have absolutely no idea how it would be possible for me to pass….
T.T
but in the end….
its time for me to let go,
and let God do His work.

it was pretty hard. i kept thinking about the answers and trying to count if it was possible to score some marks but….. T.T

then i started going on youtube cos i wanted to check out a preacher, Sy Rogers who’s coming this sunday to preach. then, to Joseph Prince’s videos and what he said really struck home.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; My Peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

what he said was, Jesus’ peace is already with me. peace=shalom
wholeness, healthness, everything.
Jesus type of peace is different from the world’s peace. world’s peace= calm only when you meditate or when you drink tea but when troubles come….
Jesus type of peace is the peace He had when He walked through a group of people who wanted to stone Him, or the peace He had when He was in sleeping in the boat and there was a terrible storm out there. That’s His type of peace. The peace that calms you down and can hold on to.
Now I have His peace.
but…
there’s still a worry.
Then the second part was,
Do not LET your hearts be troubled.
God can’t control us from being troubled. He doesn’t want to control our emotions. its up to us.
after that, I was like…
yeah!
i WONT let myself worry. I’ve given it all to God and i have His peace. The peace that He had when he was about to be stoned and when He was in the storm, and when He was to be crucified.
I WONT LET.

That kind of reminded me of what I heard in rlc before but…. sometimes just need reminding.

then, as I was reading the Manna for Today book (rlc), (i tend to just randomly flick to a page read it ><), something really popped out.

page 133

Exo 14:13-18

Moses answered the people. “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today, you will never see again (YES! the notes and studies and lecturers, i will never see them again next year cos i WILL be going on to fourth year! YES!)

14. The Lord will fight for you; you need ONLY to be STILL” (again, peace. do NOT let my hearts be troubled)

15. Then the Lord said to Moses, Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to MOVE ON

16. Raise your STAFF and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground. (right! why am i still thinking about the tests. why am i still crying, why am i still blaming God for not helping me during the exam, why am i still begging and whining to God? I should MOVE ON. look ahead. let go, and let God.)

17. I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they will go in after them. And I will gain glory through Pharoah and all his army, through his chariots and his horsemen.

18. The Egyptians will know that I am the LORD when (not if) I gain glory through Pharoah, his chariots and his horsemen” yes Lord. Let Go, let You, and You will gain glory through this. Let your glory be shone.

then, (hehe, i know its a pretty long post ><)
written at the bottom,

(i cut and paste directly)

The rod is a very simple shepherd’s rod. When that rod was commited to the Lord, it became the Rod of God. The way to commit to Him is to present our talents to Him. Whatever that is given to Him takes on the supernatural. Stop crying (T.T) or begging. Start resting and be still and see what God can do.

I was like…
T.T
ok!
stop!
I’ve given you my rod. so….

rest rest rest
focus on the next exam.

 

My God is Mighty to save

(Hillsongs)

Big Bad Mouth

sigh… i seem to get my thoughts and words confused sometimes.

i said to a friend that i want to study really really hard next year so i’ll be really free like him when exams are over.

later, i realised that that might seem as if i resent him for being happy that exams are over.

T.T
its not like that…

T.T

i know how hard he studies and how focus he is.

i dont care if people are happy after exams or are really really confident that they’ll pass.

i know that each person have a different story

they might have studied really really hard and they have earned the right to be confident in themselves.

who am i to be slightly offput if they’re jolly jolly jolly while i’m wondering if i’ll be able to pass?

that’s like judging them.

no no.

if they’re really really happy and confident and everything while i’m not…..

i’m not going to be envious. -.-

that’s pretty lame.

once my friend told me, someone who was pissed at her because she came out of the exam hall really confident and happy.

i dont want to be like that. i dont THINK i’m like that.

i’m more of a….

to each his own kind of person.

lol.

if he’s happy. good. i’m not going to be envious that he’s happy

if he’s not….. not my problem ><

hehe.  ><

 

if i get all p’s and someone tells me he has all d’s i’m like…

wahhh

so cool >< >< ><

so smart!

NOT:

why hiM!!! why not me! why on earth did he do so well?????

but then again, i’m thinking too much, i think?

cos when i told him that it came out wrong,

he was like…

-.-

why are you thinking so much. i’m not even bothered by what you said. i didnt think of it the way you thought of it.

lol.

so yeah. i think too much -.-

Isolation

Gonna be disconnected for the next few weeks.
cos….
yeah… that….

btw, its so freaking hooottttt
i kena sunburn in a day from just walking… T.T
uv here’s really strong.
i keep getting headaches. (you’re allowed max 4g panadol/day) at first i thought it was cos….
study too hard.
lol.
then i was told it’s most probably because of the sun. -.-
and on weds its gonna be 41′.
lol. my weather teller had a burning thermometer on it. lol.

ANYBODY!!!

COME TO ADELAIDE!!!
rent a car and take me around!!!
lol.
the only places i can recommend you to go are those that one can go using public transport. ie.tram ie. glenelg ie. ******
hehe.
come take me around!!!
lol.
actually…. i think if you’ve been travelling to small towns in australia….. its pretty much the same thing. lol. so……
awww…. but come just to see meeeeee
we go bubble tea
and i just discovered this really nice but bit $$$ kopitim
let’s eat softshell crab roll
and garlic bread
and ice-cream
and…
no wonder i’ve gained so much weight -.-
but actually ah…..
i gained weight not so much cos of the food here. but cos i keep going back and i kind of have this mentality:
oh, i’ve been away for 2 months and i’ll be gone for the next 2 months. better eat for that 2 months
but actually…….
even if i’m in kl, i wont normally miss those kind of food (malaysian food) but when i’m back in kl……. -.-
when i went back in july, didnt gain any weight from adelaide but then… when come back to adelaide…. gain 4kg.
then when went back in sept, no weight gain/loss
but when come back adelaide…
gain another 3kg…
-.-
i’m like a bloody rolling ball now. -.-

Unbelievable news:

Can you believe this???

Ms Kan actually….. SKATES!!!!

so cool!

lol.

Honour fee

T.T

 i keep getting charged honour fee by my bank which is so bloody irritating!!!!

T.T

it’s like 35 aud…

and i’ve been charged AAALLOOOTTTT

like….

i counted the amount also i wanted to cry already

T.T

with that money i could’ve bought so many many many stuff and my bank account wont be depleted so fast

T.T

i seriously dont get why they must charge that much. i know its to discourage people from overdrawing from their account but……

35 AUD???

why not like 10-20% of what they’d overdrawn???

that’s so much better for students ><

even for just -5 AUD they charge you honour fee. -.-

they shld just not allow you to use it in the first place…

or like warn you if you have less than the amount you want to draw out…

wwwhhhhyyyyyyyy

T.T

A Wink and a Smile

i love harry connick jr.

this was in sleepless in seattle(absolute best movie ever?!!!????)

 

Ms Kan’s new blog

ms kan has a new blog!!!

finally! -.-

missed her writings.

always so perky and… funnily weird at times. lol.

nolliekan.blogspot.com

 

oh darn. hmm… i know she’s pretty secretive. dont know if she wants to keep that blog a secret… ><

errr…..

Moodiness

I’m feeling really tired and moody these few days.

but its like…. T.T

WWWHHHYYYY?????

i’m not stressed with anything.

i’m pretty happy with my life

i have no worries!!!!

but its like…

WHHHYYY????
T.T

i feel so bad with my friends cos i’ve been pretty mean and moody and quiet ><

>< >< ><

but i also dunno why T.T
shld i be taking anti-depressants?

i can probably prescribe it for myself. lol.

but aiya……

still must find out reason why…..

i keep sleeping and sleeping…

i’m totally fine with sleeping all day but not when i have finals in 2 weeks and i’m not studying for it T.T

i’m abit scared though. i tend to do this when its nearing exams.

i dont really feel stressed or pushed enough to study. like.. i’m like… aiya. still have so many days. no need study yet la…

even if 2 days or the day BEFORE exam, only a few hours before the exam i’d start panicking. cos then i’d realise how much i have to read through. how much i HAVE NOT read…. T.T

but cannot. this term study load heavy heavy-oh

cannot be like last time ady.

dont take for granted what God does for me. must learn to study too T.T
oh please…. pray that i’ll feel stressed enough to study. if not… i just wont… T.T

its a good thing my friend drags me to the library. aiyo. if not…. :S